my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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