I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
