we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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