i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
