I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
