if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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