pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
