I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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