New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
