There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
