I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
