He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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