I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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