She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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