His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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