I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
