there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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