and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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