haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
