it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
