Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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