i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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