Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ugly people sure do ruin things
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
