my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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