I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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