I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
