when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
