Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
