I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
