Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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