It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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