do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
