i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
