yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
