not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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