Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i now understand why vodka
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
