there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
