Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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