i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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