When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
