I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
