you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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