I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
