Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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