I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
