hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
