I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
