Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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