There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
