i jhust puked up my retainher.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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