girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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