Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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