His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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