Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
