Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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