Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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