Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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