she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
