You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize