My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize