i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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