I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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