A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have feelings that need drinking.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
True strength comes from lack of pants
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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