Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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